Crush and more: The new feelings

By: Team TeenBook

Aarav, Sara and their friends are getting a new rush of feelings - exciting, happy and also complicated. You too, and need help? We've got it for you here. Read on.

Bubbles and butterflies


You know while rushing to the Math class today (I was super late!), I dropped my books on the floor. Just at that point, Aniruddh came along helped me pick them up. Then we walked to the class and sat together at the back and chatted! 

I have such mixed feelings. Super excited and super anxious! Am I thinking too much?  Ahh, help me!

    MIXED FEELINGS

  • As you grow up, you can have a crush on one person or many people.
  • Crush is that special feeling when you feel attracted to someone. 
  • It could also be on a famous person, say a sportsperson or an actor.
  • It’s all perfectly healthy and what’s important is that you understand your feelings.
  • These feelings may or may not last long and could diminish or increase with time.

        Is this love!


        So is this love? Like how I feel about Rhea? It does feel somewhat different to my other friendships. 

        But I am not sure - is this love? And what if it is? What am I supposed to do? I am just 13!

           ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS 

        • As we grow, we begin forging new relationships. 
        • Many new friendships and a few that feel a bit more than friendship, where you feel strong attraction to a particular person.
        • We also call this attraction - crush.
        • You may just enjoy it as a happy feeling or may decide to communicate it to the person we feel attracted to. 
        • If they feel the same, you can choose to spend more time together. This is often known as Dating or ‘being in a relationship’ or 'going around'.

        Oh the hormones!


        But what’s causing all this? I mean why the sudden rush of feelings? And what's with the ping-pong? Sometimes happy, sometimes nervous! 

           THE 'LOVE' HORMONES

        • Attraction towards someone else of your own gender or another gender is very common during adolescence.
        • This is caused by the new hormones in our body that are transitioning our body from childhood to adulthood. 
        • The hormones also generate new feelings and emotions, sometimes causing us to feel excited one moment and worried the next. 
        • In particular, a hormone called oxytocin is said to be responsible for the romantic feelings in our body. In fact, when someone kisses or hugs, oxytocin levels are said to drastically increase.

        It's complicated

        You know, for the last few days, Pinki is behaving indifferently. We often played together in the park and talked on the phone. I like Pinki and want to spend more time with her. But she is now always doing something or the else. I feel she is ignoring me. What do I do? Who should I talk to? 

            TRUSTED ADULTS 

        • Just like Amit, you may also face situations when you feel heartbroken and upset.
        • There will also be times you may not have answers to your questions and find yourself alone. 
        • In such times, it’s important to accept how you’re feeling, for example, if you are feeling heartbroken, accept that you are heartbroken and share your feelings with people you trust. 
        • Remember the circle of Trusted Adults, grown-ups who care for you and are trustworthy. 
        • It could be your elder siblings, cousins, parents, grandparents or your teachers. 
        • You can talk to your Trusted Adults about what's bothering you and how you feel. 
        • Remember, you’re not alone in this journey of growing up. Almost all of your friends are experiencing this or something similar.  

        Now I know 


        So some things are making sense now. These feelings of attraction, crush or love are caused by our growth hormones. 

        And that we are not alone in these feelings. Phew! 


        It’s also good to know that it’s ok to ask and talk about these things with our Trusted Adults. That was a huge relief!

            ALL ABOUT ATTRACTION

        • As we grow, we begin forging new relationships. 
        • Many new friendships and a few that feel a bit more than friendship, where you feel strong attraction to a particular person.
        • We also call this attraction - crush.
        • If two people feel the same way and choose to spend more time together, it is called Dating. 
        • Attraction towards someone else of your own gender or another gender is very common during adolescence.
        • This is caused by the new hormones in our body that are transitioning our body from childhood to adulthood. 
        • There will also be times you may not have answers to your questions and find yourself alone.
        • At such times, it’s important to accept how you’re feeling and speak to your Trusted Adults.
        • Trusted adults are grown-ups who care for you and are trustworthy, like your parents or teachers. 

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